Big news, dudes! Sara and I were asked to do the Palin vlogs for 23/6. We're excited about it. You can catch us on the 23/6 site and the 23/6 YouTube channel. Not too much of a change, really. Still on YouTube, so git to it!
Also, and I'm so in love with this, Scott Bateman from Salon.com animated a vlog (with exclusive, not seen before content). It's so adorable! Enjoy!
Also, the latest vlogs for 23/6:
Debate Prep!
Katie Couric (Totally not qualified for journalism)
Wolf Blitzer aired the clip wherein we discuss Sarah Palin shooting wolves from a helicopter in Palin Vlog #7 and which then reminds us of Mr. Wolf Blitzer.
YIPPEE!!!!!
Now if only Mr. Keith Olbermann would get the stones to play the clip we lovingly aimed right at him!
Oh, and catch Vlog #11 wherein Sarah discusses her first encounters with Black People.
Can't get enough of Sara Benincasa's brilliant satirical take on Sarah Palin? Neither can we. I'm telling you, I haven't had this much fun since I was a child. It's like grown-up happy play time where we get to play pretend.
So, here are #5 and #6 - but keep an eye out on Sara's YouTube channel because another one is in the hopper and Dina (moi) makes an appearance!
There is more, so much more Sarah Palin vlogging in store for you all. We had three more, and they are all over the damn internet. Watch these and learn to live again:
Sarah Palin Vlog #2
Sarah Palin Vlog #3 (The number 1 featured comedy on YouTube!)
Sarah Palin Vlog #4
Sara Benincasa not only gave an amazing performance, but edited all of these. The improving between us as Sarah Palin and Dina Heath-Barr was nothing short of magical. Be on the look out for more goodness.
I knew this day would come sooner or later, but it still came too soon. Sophia Petrillo, otherwise known as Estelle Getty has died.
I wish I could create a netherworld where people like Estelle could frolick and roam free. She was one of the funniest women ever on TV. Remember when she tried to get the toilet installed in the living room? How about when she ragged on Blanche's tiny rack? LOVED HER.
I hope that I'm wrong and there is a Magic Pony Fairy Kitty Princess Land where old broads like you get to eat cheesecake out on the lanai for all eternity. You ruled.
This photo is proof that when reporting about obesity, journalists get so excited about churning out another fatty piece that they can barely contain themselves before breathlessly uploading the first picture of a headless fatty they can find.
From that headline, I had assumed the story was about a scientist's taint. It could happen. Maybe he has a particularly unique taint from all the lab chemicals. The actual story was a major let down.
I read today that Jacques Diouf, a UN food agency chief, blasted the West for obesity amidst food shortages around the world. One quote from Diouf on the topic was "no one understands ... how over-consumption by obese people in the world costs 20 billion dollars each year."
I have a lot of problems with the simplicity of this statement. As though there is a secret obese cabal lurking in the shadows, gleefully consuming to spite the rest of the world. But let's not get into nuance. It's not what you come here for, and it's not something I'm particularly good at. Let's get to the nut meat. Amidst this very serious article was the following photo:
What I most love is the contrast of the aggressive, almost vicious look on the fat kid's face as he takes down more cotton candy and the sweet, pensive, delicate look the starving child gives. It's as though the fat kid could easily be eating one of the malnourished child's limbs.
My money is on up-and-down. Apparently, however, that's not scientific enough, so a team of researchers needed to conduct in depth research on the topic, complete with a slide show. Ladies, The Sun would like us to know that this may just revolutionize bra technology. And do you know who we have to thank? One busty blonde who was willing to put it all on the line and jog while a team of horny researchers took photos.
Some poor, innocent child is being subjected to his parents sick mullet needs. Brady Arneson is only three, and yet his fate as an aspiring toothless, puck-chasing French-Canadian is sealed.
And while this is certainly the cutest mullet I have seen, does it really merit winning an award for best mullet? Is this the best Minnesota has to offer? Having spent time in its dairy laden bosom, I say nay.
Looks like this is more about the Arneson's greedy desire to create some sort of shameful familial legacy.
Mullets are a family tradition for the Arnesons -- Brady's older brother Blake won the same award in 2005. Their father Scott Arneson also had a mullet as a child.
I am feeling very night before Christmas because, bitchez, I am getting the hell out of New York City and going back to New Zealand for the first time in five years!
For all of you people not in the know, NZ is a magical place. It is full of dolphins, blind, flightless birds, cala lillies, and hobbitses. Pound for pound, NZ can take on the biggest countries - especially in the category of odd news. How about some wombat rape? Or perhaps an SUV crashing into a home and knocking a man right off the shitter? NEW ZEALAND HAS IT ALL!
It also has the haka, which makes up for the fact that the New Zealand basketball team's name is, no joke, the Tall Blacks. And, no, they're not.
The haka is a traditional Maori dance. The New Zealand rugby team performs a version of the haka before games to scare the shit out of the opposing team and also strike fear and panic into the heart of whiteys all across the globe.
I present you with two fine vids of the haka:
Now, similar, but with THROAT SLITTING ACTION!
Want to know more? Google that shit. This ain't Wikipedia.
Anyhoodle pussy doodles, I am going to this magical land on Saturday and will return to this piss stained city once more on April 14th. BUT FOR ALL THE KIWIS WHO ARE READING THIS - I'm performing in Aotearoa!
Dates are still up in the air, but I will most definitely be around at Auckland's The Classic and The Wellington Comedy Club while I'm there - I'll post dates ASAP.
I thought the dickhat business blew me away, but damn, I have to go and find this article.
What exactly is happening to us as a species? But hold up, because it gets even better:
A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".
Look, mortals, upon the face of seduction!
You naughty little minx, you! Hey, if you bang a vacuum cleaner named Henry, does that make you GAY? Only if you take it!
Moving on:
When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired.
Oh, Poland, have you no lint rollers or vaginas?
Can I just follow up with a "I wonder what Dateline: Poland must be like!" HEYOHHHHHHH!
Sometimes tranny midgets with sinister cackles and haunting dance moves are not enough to scare me shitless. Sometimes I need something stronger than just contemplating the expansion of the universe to shake me of that nasty habit I have of sleeping soundly at night. Thankfully, there's this to keep us all awake and re-enacting the last scene from The Blair Witch:
News reporters, take note. If you are going to report on something that is cute, like, say a zoo giraffe getting a custom made coat, find a way to get a fucking picture involved. Do not, under any circumstances, simply replace the much anticipated photograph of a giraffe in a wool swing coat (that would be my pick) with a Google map of where Oakland is located. I have seen maps before. What I have not seen is a giraffe in a jacket. And that's something that needs to be remedied, quickly.
So, um, yeah...here's a live reenactment of me reading this article.
A Brazilian judge barred a samba group on Thursday from featuring a Holocaust display and a dancer dressed as Adolf Hitler in its Carnival parade after fierce complaints from Jewish groups.
"A guy dressed as Hitler atop a pile of dead Jews, that's too much. It's beyond the limits of common sense. There is no way we could accept that," said Sergio Niskier, president of the Rio federation, hailing the judge's decision.
Someone had to go on the record to say that "Hitler atop a pile of dead Jews" might be...oh, a little "too much." Yes, that would be overkill. Just a little dab will do you.
The school's parade theme is "Shockers" and it includes floats depicting the shock of birth, the shock of horror and the shock of cold.
On Wednesday, another samba group agreed to remove the swastika symbol from uniforms that its dancers planned to wear in its Carnival parade about the predictions of Nostradamus after complaints from the Jewish federation. The Estacio de Sa group also said it would drop a section of the parade named after Hitler.
Wait...what? Were there a bunch of cringe comics on the planning committee? And just wait until you get a load of the float photo!
Big news, dudes! Sara and I were asked to do the Palin vlogs for 23/6. We're excited about it. You can catch us on the 23/6 site and the 23/6 YouTube channel. Not too much of a change, really. Still on YouTube, so git to it!
Also, and I'm so in love with this, Scott Bateman from Salon.com animated a vlog (with exclusive, not seen before content). It's so adorable! Enjoy!
Also, the latest vlogs for 23/6:
Debate Prep!
Katie Couric (Totally not qualified for journalism)
I feel like that chick on the box of Curves cereal
Monday, September 15, 2008
CNN BIATCHEZ!!!
Wolf Blitzer aired the clip wherein we discuss Sarah Palin shooting wolves from a helicopter in Palin Vlog #7 and which then reminds us of Mr. Wolf Blitzer.
YIPPEE!!!!!
Now if only Mr. Keith Olbermann would get the stones to play the clip we lovingly aimed right at him!
Oh, and catch Vlog #11 wherein Sarah discusses her first encounters with Black People.
At lunch today we had CNN on and they ran this story again. Your version of Sarah Palin was the second best. The man who did an impersonation of a super gay drag queen doing an impersonation of Sarah Palin was a little better.
Can't get enough of Sara Benincasa's brilliant satirical take on Sarah Palin? Neither can we. I'm telling you, I haven't had this much fun since I was a child. It's like grown-up happy play time where we get to play pretend.
So, here are #5 and #6 - but keep an eye out on Sara's YouTube channel because another one is in the hopper and Dina (moi) makes an appearance!
Sarah Palin Vlogs, Unearths Complex Family History
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
There is more, so much more Sarah Palin vlogging in store for you all. We had three more, and they are all over the damn internet. Watch these and learn to live again:
Sarah Palin Vlog #2
Sarah Palin Vlog #3 (The number 1 featured comedy on YouTube!)
Sarah Palin Vlog #4
Sara Benincasa not only gave an amazing performance, but edited all of these. The improving between us as Sarah Palin and Dina Heath-Barr was nothing short of magical. Be on the look out for more goodness.
Died fighting an oil rig fire in the Gulf of Mexico
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I knew this day would come sooner or later, but it still came too soon. Sophia Petrillo, otherwise known as Estelle Getty has died.
I wish I could create a netherworld where people like Estelle could frolick and roam free. She was one of the funniest women ever on TV. Remember when she tried to get the toilet installed in the living room? How about when she ragged on Blanche's tiny rack? LOVED HER.
I hope that I'm wrong and there is a Magic Pony Fairy Kitty Princess Land where old broads like you get to eat cheesecake out on the lanai for all eternity. You ruled.
This photo is proof that when reporting about obesity, journalists get so excited about churning out another fatty piece that they can barely contain themselves before breathlessly uploading the first picture of a headless fatty they can find.
From that headline, I had assumed the story was about a scientist's taint. It could happen. Maybe he has a particularly unique taint from all the lab chemicals. The actual story was a major let down.
I read today that Jacques Diouf, a UN food agency chief, blasted the West for obesity amidst food shortages around the world. One quote from Diouf on the topic was "no one understands ... how over-consumption by obese people in the world costs 20 billion dollars each year."
I have a lot of problems with the simplicity of this statement. As though there is a secret obese cabal lurking in the shadows, gleefully consuming to spite the rest of the world. But let's not get into nuance. It's not what you come here for, and it's not something I'm particularly good at. Let's get to the nut meat. Amidst this very serious article was the following photo:
What I most love is the contrast of the aggressive, almost vicious look on the fat kid's face as he takes down more cotton candy and the sweet, pensive, delicate look the starving child gives. It's as though the fat kid could easily be eating one of the malnourished child's limbs.
I'm sorry but if you are a fat turd from the the bountiful folds of the American heartland, you are going to consume carbs, growth hormone-injected meat, and palett after palett of beer. What has the East African desert ever offered us besides dust? Distribution is the issue, not consumption.
My money is on up-and-down. Apparently, however, that's not scientific enough, so a team of researchers needed to conduct in depth research on the topic, complete with a slide show. Ladies, The Sun would like us to know that this may just revolutionize bra technology. And do you know who we have to thank? One busty blonde who was willing to put it all on the line and jog while a team of horny researchers took photos.
Some poor, innocent child is being subjected to his parents sick mullet needs. Brady Arneson is only three, and yet his fate as an aspiring toothless, puck-chasing French-Canadian is sealed.
And while this is certainly the cutest mullet I have seen, does it really merit winning an award for best mullet? Is this the best Minnesota has to offer? Having spent time in its dairy laden bosom, I say nay.
Looks like this is more about the Arneson's greedy desire to create some sort of shameful familial legacy.
Mullets are a family tradition for the Arnesons -- Brady's older brother Blake won the same award in 2005. Their father Scott Arneson also had a mullet as a child.
Diana Returns to the Land That Taught Her Binge Drinking
Friday, March 28, 2008
I am feeling very night before Christmas because, bitchez, I am getting the hell out of New York City and going back to New Zealand for the first time in five years!
For all of you people not in the know, NZ is a magical place. It is full of dolphins, blind, flightless birds, cala lillies, and hobbitses. Pound for pound, NZ can take on the biggest countries - especially in the category of odd news. How about some wombat rape? Or perhaps an SUV crashing into a home and knocking a man right off the shitter? NEW ZEALAND HAS IT ALL!
It also has the haka, which makes up for the fact that the New Zealand basketball team's name is, no joke, the Tall Blacks. And, no, they're not.
The haka is a traditional Maori dance. The New Zealand rugby team performs a version of the haka before games to scare the shit out of the opposing team and also strike fear and panic into the heart of whiteys all across the globe.
I present you with two fine vids of the haka:
Now, similar, but with THROAT SLITTING ACTION!
Want to know more? Google that shit. This ain't Wikipedia.
Anyhoodle pussy doodles, I am going to this magical land on Saturday and will return to this piss stained city once more on April 14th. BUT FOR ALL THE KIWIS WHO ARE READING THIS - I'm performing in Aotearoa!
Dates are still up in the air, but I will most definitely be around at Auckland's The Classic and The Wellington Comedy Club while I'm there - I'll post dates ASAP.
hey. remember that time you started drinking chardonnay at 12 in the afternoon and didn't stop until 7 or 8pm and i only knew you were home because your head hit the front door? and then you spent the evening in the fetal position on the floor of the bathroom? god those were good times.
My goodness; I wish you would stay there. Hopefully somewhere without electricity so the rest of the world doesn't have to waste their time reading your truly unfunny dribble and musings.
This is the fourth post I've read about New Zealand (I am reading them backwards), and I get more and more perplexed. How? What? Why? AWESOME! I guess I'll have to get the straight dope from you, personally.
I once babysat for a man from NZ who kept vegemite in his pantry and had a John Stossel moustache.
I thought the dickhat business blew me away, but damn, I have to go and find this article.
What exactly is happening to us as a species? But hold up, because it gets even better:
A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".
Look, mortals, upon the face of seduction!
You naughty little minx, you! Hey, if you bang a vacuum cleaner named Henry, does that make you GAY? Only if you take it!
Moving on:
When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired.
Oh, Poland, have you no lint rollers or vaginas?
Can I just follow up with a "I wonder what Dateline: Poland must be like!" HEYOHHHHHHH!
FWIW, 30 years ago I had an ER patient who avulsed his distal glans with a Hoover. I had to give him some BS about how we needed to know mechanism of injury for proper treatment before he'd tell us the story.
Heard on deployment: "I'm not gay, but I'm starting to worry about my right hand."
Sometimes tranny midgets with sinister cackles and haunting dance moves are not enough to scare me shitless. Sometimes I need something stronger than just contemplating the expansion of the universe to shake me of that nasty habit I have of sleeping soundly at night. Thankfully, there's this to keep us all awake and re-enacting the last scene from The Blair Witch:
News reporters, take note. If you are going to report on something that is cute, like, say a zoo giraffe getting a custom made coat, find a way to get a fucking picture involved. Do not, under any circumstances, simply replace the much anticipated photograph of a giraffe in a wool swing coat (that would be my pick) with a Google map of where Oakland is located. I have seen maps before. What I have not seen is a giraffe in a jacket. And that's something that needs to be remedied, quickly.
So, um, yeah...here's a live reenactment of me reading this article.
A Brazilian judge barred a samba group on Thursday from featuring a Holocaust display and a dancer dressed as Adolf Hitler in its Carnival parade after fierce complaints from Jewish groups.
"A guy dressed as Hitler atop a pile of dead Jews, that's too much. It's beyond the limits of common sense. There is no way we could accept that," said Sergio Niskier, president of the Rio federation, hailing the judge's decision.
Someone had to go on the record to say that "Hitler atop a pile of dead Jews" might be...oh, a little "too much." Yes, that would be overkill. Just a little dab will do you.
The school's parade theme is "Shockers" and it includes floats depicting the shock of birth, the shock of horror and the shock of cold.
On Wednesday, another samba group agreed to remove the swastika symbol from uniforms that its dancers planned to wear in its Carnival parade about the predictions of Nostradamus after complaints from the Jewish federation. The Estacio de Sa group also said it would drop a section of the parade named after Hitler.
Wait...what? Were there a bunch of cringe comics on the planning committee? And just wait until you get a load of the float photo!
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