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Monday, October 29, 2007

Friend, I am not averse to vegetarian food. I embrace slaughter-free meals often. However, there are limits that I must set. When a menu consists mostly of raw and/or vegan food, I vow to just bounce from this moment forward. Because what I witnessed this weekend, what with "live salads" and uncooked chips, I cannot soldier through again. Look at this.

This is not food that people eat willingly, when they can exercise other options, unless they are full of self-loathing. Feel free to report me to Sanjay "Let's Round Up the Fatties and Put Them in Camps" Gupta if you must, but next time I am not going to eat so much as an uncooked tortilla chip in this sort of joint. Have you ever purchased, say, a pack of spinach or lettuce you didn't complete and forgotten it in the bottom of your refrigerator? You know how it liquifies and smells like wrongness? That's what my husband's burps smelled like 24 hours after he dared to eat a "live salad." Just throw in a splash of stomach bile for a nice top note.

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