Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last real blog post. Do I have a real excuse? Well, as my disgusting slob of a spikey haired high school Philosophy teacher said "there are always reasons, but often very few excuses." She was a total See You Next Tuesday, but that phrase burned itself into my memory. Just like her flat, wide, inverted triangle of a trucker ass.
To make amends to you, gentle reader, I will introduce you to something so dazzlingly stupid, it may just be the Ark of the Covenant, but foolish. Like, retina-searing in its pure WTFedness:
It’s no secret that most women love chocolate. And most men already have a special name for their “decider,” so the only next logical step is to give it some personality with a sinfully dark chocolate hat. It’s a win-win situation for both parties!
Is this website a joke?
Nope! Sex toys are sooooooo 2007. It’s about time for something more adventurous and interactive. DickHats were inspired by a British poll done in May 2007 suggesting that many women prefer a sensuous piece of chocolate over a sexual encounter with her mate. DickHats were developed to undo this tragedy and bring the universe back into balance!
It is human nature to try to make sense of things after experiencing or witnessing something traumatic. Within every culture and time, the human experience is united in its need to turn the tragic, the unspeakable, into something meaningful. And that, friend, is why this was written.
I've yet to see such a perfect parody of academia. And that's pretty much all I have to say about The Internet Video-Meme That Dare Not Speak Its Name.
Friend, I am not averse to vegetarian food. I embrace slaughter-free meals often. However, there are limits that I must set. When a menu consists mostly of raw and/or vegan food, I vow to just bounce from this moment forward. Because what I witnessed this weekend, what with "live salads" and uncooked chips, I cannot soldier through again. Look at this.
This is not food that people eat willingly, when they can exercise other options, unless they are full of self-loathing. Feel free to report me to Sanjay "Let's Round Up the Fatties and Put Them in Camps" Gupta if you must, but next time I am not going to eat so much as an uncooked tortilla chip in this sort of joint. Have you ever purchased, say, a pack of spinach or lettuce you didn't complete and forgotten it in the bottom of your refrigerator? You know how it liquifies and smells like wrongness? That's what my husband's burps smelled like 24 hours after he dared to eat a "live salad." Just throw in a splash of stomach bile for a nice top note.
Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last real blog post. Do I have a real excuse? Well, as my disgusting slob of a spikey haired high school Philosophy teacher said "there are always reasons, but often very few excuses." She was a total See You Next Tuesday, but that phrase burned itself into my memory. Just like her flat, wide, inverted triangle of a trucker ass.
To make amends to you, gentle reader, I will introduce you to something so dazzlingly stupid, it may just be the Ark of the Covenant, but foolish. Like, retina-searing in its pure WTFedness:
It’s no secret that most women love chocolate. And most men already have a special name for their “decider,” so the only next logical step is to give it some personality with a sinfully dark chocolate hat. It’s a win-win situation for both parties!
Is this website a joke?
Nope! Sex toys are sooooooo 2007. It’s about time for something more adventurous and interactive. DickHats were inspired by a British poll done in May 2007 suggesting that many women prefer a sensuous piece of chocolate over a sexual encounter with her mate. DickHats were developed to undo this tragedy and bring the universe back into balance!
"In true modern form - the work tends to raise more questions than it answers"
Friday, November 30, 2007
It is human nature to try to make sense of things after experiencing or witnessing something traumatic. Within every culture and time, the human experience is united in its need to turn the tragic, the unspeakable, into something meaningful. And that, friend, is why this was written.
I've yet to see such a perfect parody of academia. And that's pretty much all I have to say about The Internet Video-Meme That Dare Not Speak Its Name.
Friend, I am not averse to vegetarian food. I embrace slaughter-free meals often. However, there are limits that I must set. When a menu consists mostly of raw and/or vegan food, I vow to just bounce from this moment forward. Because what I witnessed this weekend, what with "live salads" and uncooked chips, I cannot soldier through again. Look at this.
This is not food that people eat willingly, when they can exercise other options, unless they are full of self-loathing. Feel free to report me to Sanjay "Let's Round Up the Fatties and Put Them in Camps" Gupta if you must, but next time I am not going to eat so much as an uncooked tortilla chip in this sort of joint. Have you ever purchased, say, a pack of spinach or lettuce you didn't complete and forgotten it in the bottom of your refrigerator? You know how it liquifies and smells like wrongness? That's what my husband's burps smelled like 24 hours after he dared to eat a "live salad." Just throw in a splash of stomach bile for a nice top note.
