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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Some poor, innocent child is being subjected to his parents sick mullet needs. Brady Arneson is only three, and yet his fate as an aspiring toothless, puck-chasing French-Canadian is sealed.

And while this is certainly the cutest mullet I have seen, does it really merit winning an award for best mullet? Is this the best Minnesota has to offer? Having spent time in its dairy laden bosom, I say nay.

Looks like this is more about the Arneson's greedy desire to create some sort of shameful familial legacy.
Mullets are a family tradition for the Arnesons -- Brady's older brother Blake won the same award in 2005. Their father Scott Arneson also had a mullet as a child.


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Source: My Confined Space

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Friday, April 25, 2008

List of the Day had me hyperventilating this morning with a list of the best moments in photobombing ("people who hilariously ruin your nice little picture"). My favorites?

Bonus points for being an albino.

Right next to the dude with the air brushed Pink Panther tshirt - BOLD.

Chilling. Like some sort of black, gay nosferatu.

Subtlety and precision!

See the whole gaggle at List of the Day.

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I'm sure I'm late to the party on this one, but this video of the polygamist wives just needs to be shared. It's absolutely mesmerizing, and I can't help singing it. Seriously, stick through the whole thing because it just gets creepier and more compelling - and I was stone cold sober when I saw it.

The closing line is so chilling!

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Looks like The Jewish Store got wise to the hubbub after Gawker linked to my "Being Black is a Plague" post. Would have been nice if they responded to my email, but they sure as shit got a replacement representation up real quick!

Which makes me wonder - did they have a replacement all along and just wait until someone noticed and was upset or did they have some finger puppet maker on lockdown to whip up something "a little less racist?"

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The last time I saw a hand like that, I was at the Bodies Exhibit. Now I know why Diane Keaton wears gloves. Smart move.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

This weekend was Passover, and my friend's two year old son was sent home with a very special lesson from his Jewish day care center. He was given a plague kit to chew on over the weekend:

Photo by Karo

The bubble wrap is inspired, and also, if boils were that much fun to pop, I'd be begging for them. I was impressed by the macabre nature of this kit. I'd really thought Catholics had cornered the market on gruesome religious paraphernalia for children, but damn, this is good. I'm not sure it quite takes it to the level that my Martyrdom of the Saints coloring book that I had back in the day, but it's quite the contender.

While I'm down with plague games for kids, wanna know what I'm not down with?

Can I get a....

If you're so inclined, I'd suggest contacting the sellers and asking them to come up with another representation of "Darkness" that isn't reliant on racial hatred. What is the message? "I AM CURSED WITH THE PLAGUE OF BEING BLACK...IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!" Damn.

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Monday, April 21, 2008

A week since I landed in NYC, and still, I cannot get my body clock right. This has lead to a lot of 4 a.m. wakings and 6 hour afternoon "naps." Friday evening Sam came home from work and begged for me to let him "just rest my eyes for a little bit." That was at 8 p.m. We ended up waking up at 12:30 a.m. Naturally, what does one do when they wake up a half hour past midnight? The smart answer is go back to sleep. Instead we went to our favorite local diner.

Now, by day this diner is friendly and lively. Everyone's nice and cheerful, and the staff always remembers what you usually order and asks about how things are going. But at night time, it morphs into a theater of broken dreams.

As I was eavesdropping on the booth next to us (the woman was trying to explain to her perfectly American boyfriend what an avocado was...prompting her to say "that's why you gotta eat more than chicken nuggets, baby") I was interrupted by a frantic man trying to get money out of one of the waiters who just so happened to look just like Mira Sorvino's dad.

It entailed a lot of colorful language. And finally Sorvino relented and gave the man the precious $40 after calling him "a piece of shit motherfucker." The man responded with a "yeah, fuck you,too... I'll pay you back tomorrow when my mom pays me."

Sorvino finally rid of that albatross around his neck resumes his conversation with his co-workers, saying, "I'm just saying I don't find Greeks very attractive."

As I was left wondering if that was meant to be ironic or self-deprecating or self-loathing or just bigoted, I heard him talk about the massive security details and road blockages from the Pope's visit. "I don't get it...I mean, who doesn't like the Pope?"


Make your own by changing the URL!

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Friday, April 18, 2008

In the interest of full disclosure, my father works for General Mills. My dad has spent evenings talking about flour at dinner parties. I love my father dearly, but his passion for cereal making is a mystery to me. And while I have seen some questionable things come out of General Mills, I have yet to see anything that tops the load of horseshit Kellogg's just dumped all over the American public.

I give you "Under the Hood," a line of "urban" men's clothing based on Kellogg's cereals. Keep in mind that the tshirts are $40 and the hoodies are over $100.

This might be a stretch, but seeing as there is a food crisis going on, I'm finding this photo particularly offensive.

Such decadence! But really, look more closely. Because I think the Latino one was actually captured in the middle of a mild stroke. Look how dead and glassy his eyes are.

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This entire week I have woken up no later than 6 a.m. In Diana world, this is unheard of. The jet lag, friends, is heady stuff.

What can I say about New Zealand that will do it justice? To get a bit sappy, New Zealand nourishes what's left of my soul. If you can look at any of these completely unaltered photographs, imagine yourself in that scene, and not feel awe, look in the mirror because you may no longer cast a reflection.

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I have been a bad blogger. But, as you know, I was in a galaxy far, far away. There will be blogging about my adventures, but in the mean time, chew on this awesome video courtesy of BWE.

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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Riders of Bro-han, tonight will be an exquisite experiment in comedy as I attempt to make the Frodos of New Zealand laugh and make merry. Here are the deets if you happen to be amongst the chosen people tonight.

8 pm tonight: The Classic at 321 Queen St - Auckland - NZ


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The Assimilated Negro
Hysterical Festival
Jen Kirkman
lolcat bible project
O Hell Nawl
Maria Bamford
Men Who Look Like
Old Lesbians

Not Hating, Just Saying
Stuff White People Like
Unfit Toys


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