<body> YOU: On My Blog <body>
Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I think I've figured out this whole need for alternative energy thing. It came to me in a vision yesterday.

Fueled by self-hatred

At first I thought Joan Van Ark (from TV's Knots Landing) had maybe been embalmed without dying. Then I thought, perhaps she was the victim of dioxin poisoning a la Victor Yushchenko. You must admit, they make quite the pair.

A matching set of rotting corpses, thanks to dioxin and intense delusions.

But then I realized that she had done this to herself - on purpose - in an attempt to LOOK BETTER!

Maybe we are all the fools, though. After thinking about this more intently it occurred to me that rather than ethanol, hydrogen, and wind, perhaps we could look into harnessing the power of self-loathing to fuel our cars and light our homes. We need to haul Al Gore out to L.A. to demand that science find a way to redirect this infinite, renewable hate-energy into finding a global solution.

Labels: , , ,

Email AddThis Social Bookmark Button 0 comments


The Assimilated Negro
Hysterical Festival
Jen Kirkman
lolcat bible project
O Hell Nawl
Maria Bamford
Men Who Look Like
Old Lesbians

Not Hating, Just Saying
Stuff White People Like
Unfit Toys


1 2 3 4