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Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm not gonna lie - I'm a hater. It's hard not to be when everyone around you makes it so damn easy.

Here's the thing, I have got to find a way to make people like Padma Lakshmi not make me quake and tremble with rage at the mere sight or mention of her. This is not a positive thing to have in my life. Certain celebrities (paging Emme Rossum!) are so insufferable, they manage to drive me into a manic loathing. This trophy wife is one of them.

Her presence on Top Chef makes it hard for me to watch the show. I'd much rather watch Hell's Kitchen and see Chef Ramsay verbally cornhole people than see Padma traipsing around judges' tables and pretending she eats. SHE IS NOT A CHEF! WHY IS SHE EVEN ON TOP CHEF?

Oh, yes, that's right. I forgot.

Excuse me while I...

So, now that she's got her own career and doesn't need to leapfrog off of Salman Rushdie's back, I have to suffer through this woman. But at least I am not alone.

Rarely has someone so deftly turned D-list celebrity into full fledged stardom merely by putting expensive things in her mouth week after week.


In other hater news, we have this story about some dirty, disgusting, filth loving women doing pole dances on the subway. People, I can barely summon the courage to ride the subway fully clothed. Even if I eliminated my personal body shame from the equation - rubbing my lady bits on a pole I have seen fossilized phlegm wads on is not something I even want to think about. Keep that shit in the clubs. At least you're less likely to end up with some old Chinese guy's finger or toenail clippings all over your ass when you're done.

Watch this if you don't have crippling OCD. You might just get it after.

I think my fav stripper is the one with white hair.

She had spunk and fingerless gloves. Despite being filthy, I think I could hang with her, assuming she was deloused. Let's pray there was some anti-bacterial wipe action happening off-camera before these girls debased themselves.

You know who didn't care either way?

This girl should call me if she sees this because I think we could be good friends. She gives great hate-face.

She moves fluidly from pure disgust (above) to final irrevocable contempt (below).

I haven't seen hate-face like this since Shannen Doherty's work on 90210.

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