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Friday, December 28, 2007

I wasn't planning on plumbing the holiday card depths any further, but when you get an email chock full of material, you can't just turn it down. Besides, after reading Blackwater's beautiful card loaded with Christy goodness.


It's important that they named the Lord Christ in the last paragraph because I know everyone was confused about just which Lord Christ was born in Bethlehem. May the Lord Jesus bless their mercenary hearts and fill you with pure civilian-killing love.

In a similar spirit, Jack and Nate would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, and a peaceful New Year OR THEY WILL BEAT EACH OTHER MERCILESSLY WITH WIFFLEBALL BATS!


I think it's high time we sent Jack and Nate to the middle east to do some conflict resolution. They'd fit right in.

Someone needs to call the SPCA because people are out of control with their pets. Look into these dogs' eyes and tell me animals don't have souls and can't experience emotional or psychological trauma.

Tell me again, Sadie, why haven't we killed them in their sleep yet?

I did not get rescued from dog racing for this shit.

We'd rather be water boarded.

Strap yourselves in tight, folks, because shit is about to get surreal. More surreal than that scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where Gene Wilder started singing on that boat and shit started spinning and subliminal images of spiders and loose limbs were flashing all over the place.

Ever wonder what happens when someone from Burning Man decides to make a holiday card?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I think Jesus would have had cleaner socks. Also, I don't think a holiday card should evoke the smell patchouli and balls.

Now, I believe this one was intended to be funny
. In fact, it seemed to have required quite a bit of work to make, and as you can tell, the lasting effect is confusion, not hilarity.

And with that, let us look to 2008 to provide us with a bounty of bad holiday taste once more.

Big ups to Karolina for spotting these finds!
Blackwater source

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The Assimilated Negro
Hysterical Festival
Jen Kirkman
lolcat bible project
O Hell Nawl
Maria Bamford
Men Who Look Like
Old Lesbians

Not Hating, Just Saying
Stuff White People Like
Unfit Toys


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