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Friday, December 28, 2007

Like this, but with words.

If you ever feel the need to listen to conversations that make your ears bleed in two perfectly symmetrical, slow dribbles from either side of your face, drop by M. Rohrs' coffee shop on the UES and feel the gentle, warm, wet fluid flow. There you can listen to a manic, frazzled looking new mother doing a one woman version of The Vagina Monologues to a frightened, overwhelmed Japanese woman.
"My gynecologist said..." [Said with the same frequency and tone of "This one time at band camp..."]
"You should take folic acid. Here, I'll write it down so you can go get some at Duane Reade."
"My hormones were so out of control but I've totally calmed down now."
"They told me I shouldn't look at the baby too much. But you can look at him, I'm just supposed to not look at him much cause it's bad for him."
"I won't even tell you how they got the baby out...but they used a vacuum and forceps."
This probably won't do much for my baby hating reputation, but I will state that her baby was adorable and undoubtedly the only good thing this woman had going in life.

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