The wimminz at Feministing spotted this classy "butt buoy" for sale just in time for the holidays. I can think of no better way to commemorate the birth of Christ than to purchase this oddly shaped buoy. It doesn't even look like an ass. More like a really large heart candy from a box of Runts. Also, if you're that excited about seeing an ass while riding a jet ski, you probably have other things you need to focus on. Like your upcoming meeting with your probation officer.
It was hard for me to read this article without stroking out envisioning people dying in Darfur while someone's Maltipoodle lounges around on a $300 couch, wearing perfume. It's this kind of shit that makes me whisper under my breath "one day when the revolution comes, your back will be up against the wall" when I see people leaving their chauffeured cars. Unless of course the revolution happens the day Sam gets a job at Goldman Sachs. Then I'll see to it that it's canceled.