Y'all I have no idea what to get my young nieces for Christmas now that Walmart has pulled these doozies. How can I possibly let the young, impressionable girls in my life know the true secret to success without these?
As for myself, if someone doesn't get me this, it's going to be a very, very sad Christmas.
How many years do I have to blog about this before someone gets the hint? COMMAN ALREADY!
If you don't want to get me a suited up fetus soldier, could you at least hook a sister up with the Hot Priest Calendar? I think 2007 was a watershed year for these folks judging by the gallery. I'm not impressed too much with 2008, but I like where they're going with this.
Tired of the same old, cliche rape whistles? Put off by bulky, manly pepper sprays? Not sure a cattle prod is legal? Look East to find the latest in rape prevention. Since Japan is chock full of perverts and technology wizards, only they could have come up with an adorable tazer and a covert 'pon tazer for your purse.
I've had some painful 'pon experiences, but nothing that shocking! Har-har-harrrr...
Now for some real pain. If you have an evangelical Republican fascist in your life, your gift giving is all taken care of.
CAPTION READS: "we sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." Apparently Santa is a mercenary trolling the streets killing kiddie diddlers and terrorists. Go Santa! Make sure you leave him a protein shake or some 'roids this year.
Labels: Cute Things Wash Away the Pain, Holidays, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, Really?, trends that suck, wrongness, WTF