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Friday, January 18, 2008

Let's talk death!

Turns out La Lohan is going to do time at a morgue as punishment for drunk driving. Please tell me this bitch is going to be kept away from mortuary makeup duties. No one needs to see their grandmother slathered in bronzer. Also, someone better keep that junkie away from the formaldehyde.

Guess what people in Korea are spending their money on for kicks? Dying.

I can't imagine being so bored with life that I'd be willing to pay someone $350 to nail me into a coffin and hear my mother's sobs.
"I felt really, really scared inside the coffin and also thought a lot about my mom," said Lee Hye-jung, a 23-year-old woman studying engineering. "I'll live differently from now on so as not to have any regrets about my life."

"Mom and Dad! Everything I have now is from you, your teaching and your love. I'm so sorry that I have to leave you behind," said
Hwang Yun-jin, a 29-year-old mechanical engineering major, crying as she read her will aloud.
I think the lesson here is to not study engineering. It clearly leads to morbid obsessions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-doom-and-gloom. For instance, every now and then I come across a story that instead of inspiring me, just makes me think "wow, I don't think I enjoy life that much"

Someone's got a case of the Mondays. Every day.

Look, if I had a FIFTY POUND TUMOR on my face I think I might just have to say,
"you know what guys, it's been real, but I'm going to pack it in." Forever.

I enjoy life, really, I do. It's full of fun and amazing experiences, but if I am ever BISECTED in an accident and sentenced to a genital-free lifetime of looking like I'm emerging from a potted plant, please just let me go.

I salute these dudes, but, really, what are they holding out for? The final season of
The Wire?

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