Source: BoingBoing
Labels: Feminism- what's that?, God?, Really?, stank, wrongness, WTF
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
BoingBoing insists this is for real. I'm not sure it's totally real. I mean "You Are So Beautiful To Me" is playing throughout this instructional video. You'd think there'd be some narration. Still, it is both mesmerizing and absolutely terrifying to behold. I could not help but think of this the entire time:
Source: BoingBoing
Source: BoingBoing
4 comments
Monday, October 20, 2008
I have been trying, as of late, to figure out what kind of karmic payback will be due to me after the last few weeks.
Just look at the last few posts. Sara and I got animated! Someone made us LiveJournal icons! Our vlogs have been all over the place. I met muthafuckin WESCRAVEN (by the way, I really think someone needs to make a show called "That's So Wes Craven!"). It's all a little much.
Then, friends, my husband scored SNL tickets to this weekend's show. You know, the show with the three headed beast herself - SARAH PALIN - on it. Too much, just too much.
What kind of payback will the universe send me for all this bounty? I shudder to think.
However, I will say if you ever get the chance to see SNL in the flesh - do it! It's way more fun and flies by when you're there. At home I rarely watch the whole thing, but there's so much more magic going on in person. Just watching the crew transform the tiny studio so quickly, and gracefully into a number of stages, and watching the flow of crew and talent is mesmerizing enough to make you forget about the commercial breaks. There was something both creepy and endearing about watching crew members rush guests off the stage while holding their hands.
Warming up the crowd, Fred Armisen played guitar with the SNL band while Kristen Wiig sang Blondie's "One Way or Another" - totally fun and who knew Kristen had a great voice? Josh Brolin was a really great host. His monologue was strong (referencing his amazing work on GOONIES of all things) and I just really liked his vibe.
Know what I didn't like? Sarah Palin.
She seems to be getting a lot of credit for this appearance and I'm left wondering why? Everyone around her did the heavy lifting and she did what she's done this whole campaign - sit there, read her script, and looked pretty. Who's surprised by this? How much credit needs to be given for raising the roof during a rap mocking you?
I will say, seeing Tina Fey and Sarah Palin pass by each other was pretty cool. They are extremely similar in body type. Roughly the same height and, um, CRAZY THIN.
And just as an insider note - my lil' corner of the audience tried to boo Palin at several points, but we weren't heard. Also, we spotted several VIPs being ushered onto the special floor seats wearing McCain/Palin buttons, so make of that what you will.
You might notice that during the rap (which was funny because Poehler did it with such gusto) the line "you say Obama, I say Ayres" totally fell flat with the audience.
True to form, our Sarah Palin totally thought she NAILED everything and is looking forward to a career in comedy following her earth-shattering appearance (note Dina's SNL bracelet for an added touch of authenticity):
You can also catch the episode on NBC's Hulu. Read Sara Schaefer's awesome open letter to Palin on Best Week Ever as well - I like her take.
Just look at the last few posts. Sara and I got animated! Someone made us LiveJournal icons! Our vlogs have been all over the place. I met muthafuckin WESCRAVEN (by the way, I really think someone needs to make a show called "That's So Wes Craven!"). It's all a little much.
Then, friends, my husband scored SNL tickets to this weekend's show. You know, the show with the three headed beast herself - SARAH PALIN - on it. Too much, just too much.
What kind of payback will the universe send me for all this bounty? I shudder to think.
However, I will say if you ever get the chance to see SNL in the flesh - do it! It's way more fun and flies by when you're there. At home I rarely watch the whole thing, but there's so much more magic going on in person. Just watching the crew transform the tiny studio so quickly, and gracefully into a number of stages, and watching the flow of crew and talent is mesmerizing enough to make you forget about the commercial breaks. There was something both creepy and endearing about watching crew members rush guests off the stage while holding their hands.
Warming up the crowd, Fred Armisen played guitar with the SNL band while Kristen Wiig sang Blondie's "One Way or Another" - totally fun and who knew Kristen had a great voice? Josh Brolin was a really great host. His monologue was strong (referencing his amazing work on GOONIES of all things) and I just really liked his vibe.
Know what I didn't like? Sarah Palin.
She seems to be getting a lot of credit for this appearance and I'm left wondering why? Everyone around her did the heavy lifting and she did what she's done this whole campaign - sit there, read her script, and looked pretty. Who's surprised by this? How much credit needs to be given for raising the roof during a rap mocking you?
I will say, seeing Tina Fey and Sarah Palin pass by each other was pretty cool. They are extremely similar in body type. Roughly the same height and, um, CRAZY THIN.
And just as an insider note - my lil' corner of the audience tried to boo Palin at several points, but we weren't heard. Also, we spotted several VIPs being ushered onto the special floor seats wearing McCain/Palin buttons, so make of that what you will.
You might notice that during the rap (which was funny because Poehler did it with such gusto) the line "you say Obama, I say Ayres" totally fell flat with the audience.
True to form, our Sarah Palin totally thought she NAILED everything and is looking forward to a career in comedy following her earth-shattering appearance (note Dina's SNL bracelet for an added touch of authenticity):
You can also catch the episode on NBC's Hulu. Read Sara Schaefer's awesome open letter to Palin on Best Week Ever as well - I like her take.
Labels: BOLD, comedy, dick move, Feminism- what's that?, God?, NYC, Really?, republicans, stank, WTF
2 comments
Friday, October 10, 2008
This man lives in my nightmares. You might recognize him from one of those horrible eHarmony ads. I have been trying to figure out why he deeply troubles my subconscious and I think I have a few leads:
- He has crazy eyes. Seriously. Watch the ad. The whites of his eyes show over his irises and that's always a bad sign.
- He looks just like a dude who called me a JAP in Ohio when I yelled at him for stealing my parking space.
- Ann Marie (his eHarmony bride) seems like she's suffering Stockholm Syndrome. Talks about how she "calms him down" which immediately terrifies me.
Please, someone, tell me I'm not alone in being totally freaked by this dude. HIS EYES SEE EVERYTHING, THEY NEVER BLINK.
4 comments
Monday, October 6, 2008
You know, these Palin vlogs and gotten Sara Benincasa and I a lot of play. Uncle Cessiwig (aka Francesco Marciliano of Sally Forth and Medium Large fame) has been so kind as to post the collective play all in one convenient place.
I thought my mind had been blown when we got cartooned. Then Sara found out that someone had entered us into LiveJournal popculture notoriety. Witness this dedication!
My personal favorite.
Theeeen, as if that wasn't totally dudical, Siddhartha Mitter from WNYC interviewed me, Sara, Baratunde Thurston, and Julie Klausner. You can catch it online!
But then shit got REALLY crunk because The New Yorker invited us to work their festival this weekend which meant we got into a super swank opening party resulting in amazingness.
Yes, Sara has blogged about it because she is not full of molasses like sorry ole me, but the following ensued (after a lot of champagne):
1. I told author Jeffrey Eugenides (author of Virgin Suicides and Middlesex): “I really loved Middlesex. I have read it repeatedly, and I really relate to it, although I’m not a hermaphrodite.”
2. I thrust a drunken fist in the air at the sight of Alan Cumming's Barack the Vote tshirt and he gave me a peace sign. LOVE.
3. I witnessed a very pretty, very tiny Regina Specktor talking to a trio of hipster douchebags.
4. Sam and I rode the elevator up with Oliver Stone and his posse.
5. Salman Rushdie was walking around and I had to restrain myself (I was only 2 champagnes in so this was still possible) from whispering to him "Padma's a bitch" and then running out of the room.
6. On the walk up Park Avenue towards our homeland, Istarted playing with garbage, including a discarded bra and a shoe, and threw them in the air because I was feeling like Mary Fucking Tyler Moore:
7. Ended up sitting on a sofa across from WESCRAVEN and his amazing, beautiful, warm, friendly wife Iya Labunka (producer on Heathers) and having a butt ass long conversation full of wonder. Highlights included:
- Telling Wes Craven: "My brothers got years of mileage terrifying me with fanfic enchanced Freddy Krueger stories, 'SO THANKS A LOT, WES!'"
- Calling him WESCRAVEN at every possible opportunity.
- Talking about zero gravity sex (Buzz, Neil, we all agreed you probably cranked one off in space).
- Hearing the awesome tale of how Iya and Wes met.
That was pretty much the best party I ever went to. It was also very pretty in that hotel with light bulbs on the ceiling.
And the next day we got to perform at the New Yorker Festival's Humor Panel for 350 people. We were the fluffers for the panel. Witness the happiness.
WITNESS US MEETING Samantha Bee, who is soooo funny and nice in person (and even prettier).
If you thought the story was going to stop here, you were wrong. Because then, by some miracle, we got to meet Margaret Cho that same night. I have the pictures to prove it.
I'm not quite sure how a weekend like that can be topped!
I thought my mind had been blown when we got cartooned. Then Sara found out that someone had entered us into LiveJournal popculture notoriety. Witness this dedication!
My personal favorite.
Theeeen, as if that wasn't totally dudical, Siddhartha Mitter from WNYC interviewed me, Sara, Baratunde Thurston, and Julie Klausner. You can catch it online!But then shit got REALLY crunk because The New Yorker invited us to work their festival this weekend which meant we got into a super swank opening party resulting in amazingness.
Yes, Sara has blogged about it because she is not full of molasses like sorry ole me, but the following ensued (after a lot of champagne):
1. I told author Jeffrey Eugenides (author of Virgin Suicides and Middlesex): “I really loved Middlesex. I have read it repeatedly, and I really relate to it, although I’m not a hermaphrodite.”
2. I thrust a drunken fist in the air at the sight of Alan Cumming's Barack the Vote tshirt and he gave me a peace sign. LOVE.
3. I witnessed a very pretty, very tiny Regina Specktor talking to a trio of hipster douchebags.
4. Sam and I rode the elevator up with Oliver Stone and his posse.
5. Salman Rushdie was walking around and I had to restrain myself (I was only 2 champagnes in so this was still possible) from whispering to him "Padma's a bitch" and then running out of the room.
6. On the walk up Park Avenue towards our homeland, Istarted playing with garbage, including a discarded bra and a shoe, and threw them in the air because I was feeling like Mary Fucking Tyler Moore:
7. Ended up sitting on a sofa across from WESCRAVEN and his amazing, beautiful, warm, friendly wife Iya Labunka (producer on Heathers) and having a butt ass long conversation full of wonder. Highlights included:
- Telling Wes Craven: "My brothers got years of mileage terrifying me with fanfic enchanced Freddy Krueger stories, 'SO THANKS A LOT, WES!'"
- Calling him WESCRAVEN at every possible opportunity.
- Talking about zero gravity sex (Buzz, Neil, we all agreed you probably cranked one off in space).
- Hearing the awesome tale of how Iya and Wes met.
That was pretty much the best party I ever went to. It was also very pretty in that hotel with light bulbs on the ceiling.
And the next day we got to perform at the New Yorker Festival's Humor Panel for 350 people. We were the fluffers for the panel. Witness the happiness.
WITNESS US MEETING Samantha Bee, who is soooo funny and nice in person (and even prettier).
If you thought the story was going to stop here, you were wrong. Because then, by some miracle, we got to meet Margaret Cho that same night. I have the pictures to prove it.
I'm not quite sure how a weekend like that can be topped!
Labels: comedy, God?, Hero, How did this become my life?, ILOVEUSOHARD, Legend, LOVESIT, No but seriously, NYC, Really?, solidarity, WTF
3 comments
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Big news, dudes! Sara and I were asked to do the Palin vlogs for 23/6. We're excited about it. You can catch us on the 23/6 site and the 23/6 YouTube channel. Not too much of a change, really. Still on YouTube, so git to it!
Also, and I'm so in love with this, Scott Bateman from Salon.com animated a vlog (with exclusive, not seen before content). It's so adorable! Enjoy!
Also, the latest vlogs for 23/6:
Debate Prep!
Katie Couric (Totally not qualified for journalism)
Also, and I'm so in love with this, Scott Bateman from Salon.com animated a vlog (with exclusive, not seen before content). It's so adorable! Enjoy!
Also, the latest vlogs for 23/6:
Debate Prep!
Katie Couric (Totally not qualified for journalism)
Labels: comedy, Feminism- what's that?, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, Really?, republicans, Ripped from the headlines, solidarity, WTF
1 comments
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I can't stop coming back to DC. Really, it's a great place for comedy. People turn out. They're smart. They're ready to laugh. It's everything a comic wants out of a crowd. So when my gurl (and amazing comic) Aparna said "will you do a show in DC" I was like, um, let me see if I can work that into my usual schedule of sitting on my ass and watching The Rachel Maddow Show non-stop and questioning my sexuality.
So, it's on, and what makes it especially awesome is that it's headlined by Ms. Erin Jackson. Um, she's kind of a big deal and all now, especially after getting on THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW. I seriously had wee tears of joy in my eyes watching the clip because anyone who's close to Erin knows that Ellen is one of her biggest influences. Watching her get to sit down and talk to her after her set almost made me believe in God again. Girlfriend is blowing UP, so see her now before she only plays stadiums and theatres.
We'll be performing at the DC Improv Lounge Friday and Saturday this weekend. Doors open at 7:30 and tickets are only $10!
Tickets are available online.
Labels: COME TO MY SHOW, comedy, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, Really?, solidarity
1 comments
There's another installment of the Sarah Palin vlogs. This time, Dina Heath-Barr reveals her very un-Christian feelings for Rachel Maddow. This was actually just an excuse for me to publicly air out my own very Sapphic leanings, because Maddow is pretty much my favorite lesbian, besides Roger Ebert.
Last night Maddow toyed with my emotions and said the word "haberdashery" which was a direct reference to our vlog. I am sure of it. Be still my heart.
Last night Maddow toyed with my emotions and said the word "haberdashery" which was a direct reference to our vlog. I am sure of it. Be still my heart.
Labels: comedy, Feminism- what's that?, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, republicans, solidarity, wrongness, WTF
0 comments
Monday, September 15, 2008
CNN BIATCHEZ!!!
Wolf Blitzer aired the clip wherein we discuss Sarah Palin shooting wolves from a helicopter in Palin Vlog #7 and which then reminds us of Mr. Wolf Blitzer.
YIPPEE!!!!!
Now if only Mr. Keith Olbermann would get the stones to play the clip we lovingly aimed right at him!
Oh, and catch Vlog #11 wherein Sarah discusses her first encounters with Black People.
Keep an eye out on Sara Benincasa's YouTube Channel for more coming up very, very soon!
Labels: comedy, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, NYC, republicans, Ripped from the headlines, WTF
5 comments
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Well, hi! If you're new around here it's likely due to the Sarah Palin vlogs. They are quite hilarious, I agree. Want more? Haven't seen the latest batch? Have you seen the face of Dina Heath-Barr?
Palin Vlog #7 (DINA APPEARS)
Palin Vlog #8 (Burning "Go Ask Alice" is good for the environment)
Palin Vlog #9 (First Church of Sarah Palin, Jesus Christ)
Palin Vlog #10 (In which we call for Keith Olbermann's dismantling)
These have been SOOO much fun to be a part of. Sara Benincasa not only does an amazing Palin, but she busts ass and edits these puppies. As a result of her hard work the vlogs have been featured in Wired, Newsweek, Time, and aired on CNN (we love you Wolf Blitzer). I'm still holding out hope that Rachel Maddow will ask us to be on her show so that she can ask me to run away with her. Sam said he was okay with that.
If you're new around here, feel free to have a poke around the blog. You can also catch me on Twitter and Facebook, and see some of my comedy here and here !
Palin Vlog #7 (DINA APPEARS)
Palin Vlog #8 (Burning "Go Ask Alice" is good for the environment)
Palin Vlog #9 (First Church of Sarah Palin, Jesus Christ)
Palin Vlog #10 (In which we call for Keith Olbermann's dismantling)
These have been SOOO much fun to be a part of. Sara Benincasa not only does an amazing Palin, but she busts ass and edits these puppies. As a result of her hard work the vlogs have been featured in Wired, Newsweek, Time, and aired on CNN (we love you Wolf Blitzer). I'm still holding out hope that Rachel Maddow will ask us to be on her show so that she can ask me to run away with her. Sam said he was okay with that.
If you're new around here, feel free to have a poke around the blog. You can also catch me on Twitter and Facebook, and see some of my comedy here and here !
Labels: Asshole bosses, BOLD, broads, comedy, dick move, Feminism- what's that?, God?, How did this become my life?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, republicans, wrongness, WTF
1 comments
Friday, September 5, 2008
Can't get enough of Sara Benincasa's brilliant satirical take on Sarah Palin? Neither can we. I'm telling you, I haven't had this much fun since I was a child. It's like grown-up happy play time where we get to play pretend.
So, here are #5 and #6 - but keep an eye out on Sara's YouTube channel because another one is in the hopper and Dina (moi) makes an appearance!
So, here are #5 and #6 - but keep an eye out on Sara's YouTube channel because another one is in the hopper and Dina (moi) makes an appearance!
Labels: Asshole bosses, BOLD, comedy, dick move, Feminism- what's that?, God?, Really?, republicans, Ripped from the headlines, trends that suck, wrongness, WTF
0 comments
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
There is more, so much more Sarah Palin vlogging in store for you all. We had three more, and they are all over the damn internet. Watch these and learn to live again:
Sarah Palin Vlog #2
Sarah Palin Vlog #3 (The number 1 featured comedy on YouTube!)
Sarah Palin Vlog #4
Sara Benincasa not only gave an amazing performance, but edited all of these. The improving between us as Sarah Palin and Dina Heath-Barr was nothing short of magical. Be on the look out for more goodness.
Sarah Palin Vlog #2
Sarah Palin Vlog #3 (The number 1 featured comedy on YouTube!)
Sarah Palin Vlog #4
Sara Benincasa not only gave an amazing performance, but edited all of these. The improving between us as Sarah Palin and Dina Heath-Barr was nothing short of magical. Be on the look out for more goodness.
Labels: Asshole bosses, BOLD, comedy, dick move, Feminism- what's that?, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, Really?, republicans, Ripped from the headlines, wrongness, WTF
1 comments
Monday, September 1, 2008
What happens when two couples get together, eat Ethiopian food, and talk shit about McCain's VP, Sarah Palin? MAGIC. This is just a teaser of more to come. Sara Benincasa and I, aided by our domestic partners Sam and Ces, shot probably an hour and a half of this shit, improving pure MAGIC.
Enjoy.
You're welcome.
Enjoy.
You're welcome.
Labels: Asshole bosses, Feminism- what's that?, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, LOVESIT, Really?, republicans, wrongness, WTF
1 comments
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Somewhere back in the deep recesses of my brain, sandwiched between the ABC After School Special starring Calista Flockhart as an innovative, forward-thinking bulimic who taught us all about barfing in jars and that horrifying episode on Little House on the Prairie when Sylvia got raped by a mime, lives a darker memory. It’s the hazy memory of an 80s movie staring a young, plump Wendie Jo Sperber (RIP) as a lovable fat chick who is (obviously) a social outcast.
Wendie Jo Sperber, Team Chunk Pioneer
Wendie Jo Sperber, Team Chunk Pioneer
IMDB would have me believe that this was “Dinky Hocker.” All I know is that in this movie Wendie Jo was frantically shoveling ho-hos and other carb variants down her pie hole so fast she could barely breathe. But the scene that is really burned in my memory is the one where she is told by the Queen Bees that she’s allowed to join their sorority. She fully believes this is all on the up-and-up and gratefully partakes in their hazing rituals. They tell her to put on a bikini and wait in one of the rooms of the house for their analysis. As if this is not a horrifying enough proposition, what awaits her is so much worse.
We see poor Wendie Jo, huddled in a corner wearing a bright blue bikini. She looks pretty cute to me, but in TV land she is clearly revolting . When the door flies open it is not a bevy of sorority sisters, but a cute popular guy she has been tutoring and crushing on HARD. Wendie is stuck in the horrible, unimaginable situation of having to then RUN out of the room with her confused Crush looking on in complete confusion while some Alpha Bitch laughs hysterically.
I tell you this tale because this is what I am anticipating I tell you this tale because I feel like a chunky Wendie Jo, huddled in the corner after being nominated for the Hot Blogger Calendar. Surely, this will only end badly.
Part of me wants to win this to represent Team Chunk. The other part of me is terrified that a roomful of evil doers awaits with breathless anticipation to see me running, tears streaming down my face, cellulite bouncing, into the moonlight.
Labels: Feminism- what's that?, God?, How did this become my life?, Mommy issues, solidarity, Why My Life Is An Elaborate Cymbalta Ad, wrongness, WTF
5 comments
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I knew this day would come sooner or later, but it still came too soon. Sophia Petrillo, otherwise known as Estelle Getty has died.
I wish I could create a netherworld where people like Estelle could frolick and roam free. She was one of the funniest women ever on TV. Remember when she tried to get the toilet installed in the living room? How about when she ragged on Blanche's tiny rack? LOVED HER.
I hope that I'm wrong and there is a Magic Pony Fairy Kitty Princess Land where old broads like you get to eat cheesecake out on the lanai for all eternity. You ruled.
Labels: comedy, God?, ILOVEUSOHARD, Legend, LOVESIT, Ripped from the headlines, stank, Why My Life Is An Elaborate Cymbalta Ad
2 comments
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I have been MIA from this blog, but for good reason. Usually it's laziness or boredom, but this time my reasons are valid.
Back in February 2002, one week before getting married, Sam and I adopted a kitten. Unemployed, depressed, and bored I had felt like getting a pet would be a good idea. We were living in New Zealand at the time and it is truly a country of cat lovers. I never had a cat before, only dogs my whole life. But I had befriended a neighborhood cat a year earlier in New Zealand and I was becoming a convert.
At the shelter, I was put in a room full of kittens. Four of them were playing frantically with each other, one sat slightly off to the side watching, and another one used its little claws to climb up my pants. I was a little freaked out by this needy cat. He would hiss if any other cat approached me. They were all equally cute, but I was on the look out for personality.
That's when I had a second look at the kitten sitting off to the side observing. He was a little white ball of fluff with patches of grey tabby and beautifully lined eyes. I sat down next to him and placed him on my lap. He sat there, so calm, so content and looked up at me for a good minute. I was sold.
We named him Boo because he was so dear. One of our first wedding photos is of Sam and I cuddled up with a tiny kitten Boo. He was officially part of our family.
Our apartment was located on a hill with a low brick walled path making its way to the stairs. When Sam and I would return home from work, we could see his little striped tail making its way down the path - he was always waiting for us eagerly at the end of the day.
Not even two years after adopting him, we decided to move to the States. We didn't have any family or close friends that we could leave Boo with, and truth be told, we couldn't deal with losing him. Thankfully, Boo is a calm, accepting, relaxed cat who traveled well.
Never much of an adventurer, Boo adjusted pretty well to being an indoor cat. He has been with us through so much. Sam and I sleep with Boo every night. Sam is the biggest spoon, Boo is the littlest.
And now he is very, very ill.
Boo is fighting very hard right now. And true to form, he's been as sweet and calm and steady as always. This week we have learned that Boo has a bacterial infection in his liver, diabetes, and yesterday he threw a clot that has weakened his hind legs.
I'm not sure my little guy is going to make it. I know Sam and I will do as much as we can to help him live a good life. Last night we camped out with a mattress on our living room floor and tended to Boo to get him his food, water, and into the litter box. Whenever one of us is out of view, he looks around - waiting for us.
He is eating and drinking well. He is grooming himself. He is able to move his back legs better than yesterday. He is resting and generally being adorable.
This cat is worth more to me than any other pet I've had. Sam jokes that Boo is my familiar - and I can't disagree with that too much. We have a very special connection. Losing him will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. I know that makes me lucky - I have had the good fortune of not having to face a lot of loss in my life. And as much as I can tell myself "people have to watch their children die of AIDS and/or starvation in Africa and here you are losing your shit over a cat" I can't help but want to do all I can to make this little cat healthy and happy again.
Seriously, I am willing to pull some Pet Sematary type shenanigans.
If you're reading this and have a pet, give him or her a cuddle. Let them know how much they're loved every chance you get.
As for Boo, all we can do is hope that this clot was a result of his liver infection and watch out for another one. Tomorrow he goes to the vet again. If you're into hippie bullshit or that whole God thing, or maybe you believe in the power of positive thinking, here's a picture of Boo. Please wish him the best, whatever that might mean.
Back in February 2002, one week before getting married, Sam and I adopted a kitten. Unemployed, depressed, and bored I had felt like getting a pet would be a good idea. We were living in New Zealand at the time and it is truly a country of cat lovers. I never had a cat before, only dogs my whole life. But I had befriended a neighborhood cat a year earlier in New Zealand and I was becoming a convert.
At the shelter, I was put in a room full of kittens. Four of them were playing frantically with each other, one sat slightly off to the side watching, and another one used its little claws to climb up my pants. I was a little freaked out by this needy cat. He would hiss if any other cat approached me. They were all equally cute, but I was on the look out for personality.
That's when I had a second look at the kitten sitting off to the side observing. He was a little white ball of fluff with patches of grey tabby and beautifully lined eyes. I sat down next to him and placed him on my lap. He sat there, so calm, so content and looked up at me for a good minute. I was sold.
We named him Boo because he was so dear. One of our first wedding photos is of Sam and I cuddled up with a tiny kitten Boo. He was officially part of our family.
Our apartment was located on a hill with a low brick walled path making its way to the stairs. When Sam and I would return home from work, we could see his little striped tail making its way down the path - he was always waiting for us eagerly at the end of the day.
Not even two years after adopting him, we decided to move to the States. We didn't have any family or close friends that we could leave Boo with, and truth be told, we couldn't deal with losing him. Thankfully, Boo is a calm, accepting, relaxed cat who traveled well.
Never much of an adventurer, Boo adjusted pretty well to being an indoor cat. He has been with us through so much. Sam and I sleep with Boo every night. Sam is the biggest spoon, Boo is the littlest.
And now he is very, very ill.
Boo is fighting very hard right now. And true to form, he's been as sweet and calm and steady as always. This week we have learned that Boo has a bacterial infection in his liver, diabetes, and yesterday he threw a clot that has weakened his hind legs.
I'm not sure my little guy is going to make it. I know Sam and I will do as much as we can to help him live a good life. Last night we camped out with a mattress on our living room floor and tended to Boo to get him his food, water, and into the litter box. Whenever one of us is out of view, he looks around - waiting for us.
He is eating and drinking well. He is grooming himself. He is able to move his back legs better than yesterday. He is resting and generally being adorable.
This cat is worth more to me than any other pet I've had. Sam jokes that Boo is my familiar - and I can't disagree with that too much. We have a very special connection. Losing him will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. I know that makes me lucky - I have had the good fortune of not having to face a lot of loss in my life. And as much as I can tell myself "people have to watch their children die of AIDS and/or starvation in Africa and here you are losing your shit over a cat" I can't help but want to do all I can to make this little cat healthy and happy again.
Seriously, I am willing to pull some Pet Sematary type shenanigans.
If you're reading this and have a pet, give him or her a cuddle. Let them know how much they're loved every chance you get.
As for Boo, all we can do is hope that this clot was a result of his liver infection and watch out for another one. Tomorrow he goes to the vet again. If you're into hippie bullshit or that whole God thing, or maybe you believe in the power of positive thinking, here's a picture of Boo. Please wish him the best, whatever that might mean.
Labels: Cats, God?, How did this become my life?, No but seriously, Why My Life Is An Elaborate Cymbalta Ad
8 comments
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I read today that Jacques Diouf, a UN food agency chief, blasted the West for obesity amidst food shortages around the world. One quote from Diouf on the topic was "no one understands ... how over-consumption by obese people in the world costs 20 billion dollars each year."
I have a lot of problems with the simplicity of this statement. As though there is a secret obese cabal lurking in the shadows, gleefully consuming to spite the rest of the world. But let's not get into nuance. It's not what you come here for, and it's not something I'm particularly good at. Let's get to the nut meat. Amidst this very serious article was the following photo:
What I most love is the contrast of the aggressive, almost vicious look on the fat kid's face as he takes down more cotton candy and the sweet, pensive, delicate look the starving child gives. It's as though the fat kid could easily be eating one of the malnourished child's limbs.
I have a lot of problems with the simplicity of this statement. As though there is a secret obese cabal lurking in the shadows, gleefully consuming to spite the rest of the world. But let's not get into nuance. It's not what you come here for, and it's not something I'm particularly good at. Let's get to the nut meat. Amidst this very serious article was the following photo:
What I most love is the contrast of the aggressive, almost vicious look on the fat kid's face as he takes down more cotton candy and the sweet, pensive, delicate look the starving child gives. It's as though the fat kid could easily be eating one of the malnourished child's limbs.
Labels: BOLD, dick move, God?, Really?, Ripped from the headlines, Vast Anti-Fat Conspiracy, wrongness, WTF
3 comments
Thursday, May 29, 2008
My money is on up-and-down. Apparently, however, that's not scientific enough, so a team of researchers needed to conduct in depth research on the topic, complete with a slide show. Ladies, The Sun would like us to know that this may just revolutionize bra technology. And do you know who we have to thank? One busty blonde who was willing to put it all on the line and jog while a team of horny researchers took photos.
Labels: dick move, Feminism- what's that?, God?, Really?, Ripped from the headlines, stank, Why My Life Is An Elaborate Cymbalta Ad, wrongness, WTF
2 comments
The sexual tension is palpable.
Source
Labels: Asshole bosses, dick move, God?, Really?, republicans, stank, wrongness, WTF
4 comments
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I'm going to go out on a limb and make a contentious statement that might alienate some people - I fucking love centaurs. They are my favorite mythical creatures.
Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be a centaur. In fact, I have a centaur related question that I believe reveals a lot about a person. Ready? If you woke up tomorrow and you were a centaur, would you feel obligated to wear pants/underwear in public?
I asked a co-worker this once and she said to me, "no...I don't believe I would...why would I? That's just beautiful...that's a beautiful thing." There was mist in her eyes.
I can't think of many things that would make a centaur better. They're pretty amazing on their own, but someone else found a way.
Reader, that is a Patrick Swayze centaur. Do you understand what you're looking at? A PATRICK SWAYZE CENTAUR IN A CHIPPENDALE'S UNIFORM! I need to know the story behind this tattoo more than I have ever needed to know the story behind a tattoo in my life. This is not a life half-lived, I am sure of that much.
And, yeah, I took this weekend off. Get off my back and remember:
Source: EW
Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be a centaur. In fact, I have a centaur related question that I believe reveals a lot about a person. Ready? If you woke up tomorrow and you were a centaur, would you feel obligated to wear pants/underwear in public?
I asked a co-worker this once and she said to me, "no...I don't believe I would...why would I? That's just beautiful...that's a beautiful thing." There was mist in her eyes.
I can't think of many things that would make a centaur better. They're pretty amazing on their own, but someone else found a way.
Reader, that is a Patrick Swayze centaur. Do you understand what you're looking at? A PATRICK SWAYZE CENTAUR IN A CHIPPENDALE'S UNIFORM! I need to know the story behind this tattoo more than I have ever needed to know the story behind a tattoo in my life. This is not a life half-lived, I am sure of that much.
And, yeah, I took this weekend off. Get off my back and remember:
Source: EW
1 comments
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
VH1's Best Week Ever believes Tim Russert let one out on air, and they're not afraid to supply Zapruder-esque footage to back it up.
I admit, when I first heard the "buuuurrrrr" it seemed clear it could be nothing BUT a fart. Tim Russert certainly doesn't look like a man capable of holding in his farts. In fact, I'm willing to wager that he let one right at the moment this book cover photo was taken.
After reading the update and some of the comments, I realized upon a second viewing it very well could be someone agreeing with him. I do not want to live in a world where Tim Russert DOESN'T FART ON AIR, and so, I refuse to yield.
I admit, when I first heard the "buuuurrrrr" it seemed clear it could be nothing BUT a fart. Tim Russert certainly doesn't look like a man capable of holding in his farts. In fact, I'm willing to wager that he let one right at the moment this book cover photo was taken.
After reading the update and some of the comments, I realized upon a second viewing it very well could be someone agreeing with him. I do not want to live in a world where Tim Russert DOESN'T FART ON AIR, and so, I refuse to yield.
Labels: BOLD, dick move, God?, LOVESIT, Really?, stank, wrongness, WTF
3 comments
