What exactly is happening to us as a species? But hold up, because it gets even better:
A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".
Look, mortals, upon the face of seduction!
You naughty little minx, you! Hey, if you bang a vacuum cleaner named Henry, does that make you GAY? Only if you take it!
When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired.
Oh, Poland, have you no lint rollers or vaginas?
Can I just follow up with a "I wonder what Dateline: Poland must be like!" HEYOHHHHHHH!